May 18, 2026
11:51 am:
I'm back at the house for the summer before I move into an apartment near my college (yay) and honestly I don't really like being here because I keep remembering high school. It's not like I had a super bad experience, I just felt very lonely because the people I would hang out with in school would never invite me to anything outside of school. Looking back, I wish I had just not done theater and joined a different club. The whole thing just feels like a waste of time now and I got really burned out in my senior year because of it and then lied about having to pick up my younger sister from school when I was already a designer for a musical. Obviously I feel really bad about that and I'm pretty sure they knew I was lying which makes things really awkward when I see my old theater teacher, but to be fair it's pretty hard to admit that you want to kys and can barely get out of bed in the morning. Anyway being back here just brings all of that back and it sort of feels like I'm living in a haunted house. I guess I should really go back to therapy to work through this, but phone calls are still really scary for me and I have to call the office but I have no idea what to say. I wish I had a script or something lol
May 14, 2026
I was browsing a site cataloguing a bunch of old geocities websites (will link at the bottom) and when I saw how personalized everything was, it made me sad and I wished that I could have experienced that era of the internet. The net is so corporate now and it all feels so souless and depressing to me, so I wanted to find an area where I could make a site at least somewhat like that. I've found a few, so I'm going to give them all a shot and stick with the one that I like most. I might not update this very much, but I'm hoping I can find some friends here and I'll stick around if I do. I hope you think it looks ok if you're reading this because it took a lot more time to figure out the controls than I'd like to admit